29-30 September 2014
01 October 2014
0442 hrs
Good Early Morning to You,
Patient Reader!
OK, all
you Crazy Cats, today’s post is going to be a jumbled and crazier-than-usual
Hot Mess. Looks like the first day of
school is finally here, and man . . . I am tired already! Good thing my first class is Meditation . . .
yeah, they actually give credits, well, ONE credit, for meditating . . . maybe
I can sleep?
After
that, well, not immediately after, I
have an Image Communications class. 4
Credits. Basically a photography class. My third class of the day is Documentary
Photography. I’m sure it’s pretty
self-explanatory, but the way this crazy school is run well . . . who knows,
right? 3 credits, there.
Tomorrow
I only have 2 classes: Developmental Psych and Tai Chi; 3 credits and one credit, respectively. Yes, a credit hour for Tai Chi.
I know
I promised y’all another installment of, “What All is the Fuck Wrong With
Mormons, Anyway,” and I plan on keeping that promise . . . I am just too
up-in-the-air at the moment to follow through at this time. I know y’all understand . . . At any rate, I hope you found Chapter I to be
as fun as it was for me as I wrote it . . .
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I put
off the trip to the bookstore as I want to be certain of the needed supplies so
I can try to make the fewest trips there as possible . . . yeah . . .
right. “Even the best laid plans of Mice
and Men,” etc. I’ll let y’all know how
well that works out.
So wish
me luck as I embark on Day One of Fall Term.
Keep our fingers crossed and our minds open. Keep your corner of the world bright and
shiny, and let’s try to get through the day without too much Collective
Killing. HMM?
0707
hrs . . .
Interestingly,
Shmarla and I share the same class, the Meditation class, and I did not find
out until last night. What is odd about
that is that we spent almost every second together while on break. She insists she told me that, but then again
she insists on many things that never happened . . . if only I had her permission to post a
certain story about mistaken identity . . .
Still,
it’s great that we have this class together, as we are going to be so busy over
these next few months we’ll have very little time together in a Romantic
Capacity . . . our time together will consist primarily of watching one another
do our homework. She’s a good woman, and
those are damn hard to find, nowadays.
Folks, raise your daughters to be good women and your sons to be good
enough to deserve them.
So
Alabama had a bye week Saturday. Next
week they take on the Rebels of Ole Mississippi. That should prove to be a good game. The SEC is the toughest conference in NCAA
football, the ardent desires of the residents of the PAC-12 area notwithstanding.
The
Cowboys of the NFL, in an anomaly, bitch-slapped the Saints yesterday. The revered Drew Brees got his ass handed to
him, and I am just as dumbfounded as the WhoDats of Orleans Parrish.
The
Cowboys
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have improved to a 3-1 record, and tie with Philadelphia for Baddest
Ass in the NFC East Division. Cuh, and Razy. Much as I hate San Francisco, I hate Dallas’
division rivals even more, and I thank the 49’ers for defeating (Chip Kelly’s)
Eagles. Good job, Harbaugh!
Murray
rushed for 149 yards on 24 carries and scored two touchdowns. That’s against the No. 10 rush defense, or,
they were No.10 when they showed up
to play. Cowboys ended up routing them
38-17. Who the fuck knew?
0909 hrs
First
class OVER. But it was meditation, so it’s not like I cured cancer . . . yet! Soon, Patient Reader, soon. Soon we will all be able to smoke and drink
and handle asbestos and eat red meat with impunity! When I am Lord and Master of All I Survey,
shit’s going to change around here. Just
watch.
So my
next stop is Image Communications, wherein I hope to be loaned the use of a
camera for the term. A Canon T5i. Sure, it’s not a Nikon, but it’s still
Japanese and therefore top-notch . . . just not Nikon top-notch. I hope to buy one at the beginning of Winter
Term . . . yeah, dammit, I still have
to get one. I know I have been talking
about that for a year, now. But as the
great philosopher Lennon said: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy
making other plans.” So there it is
there, emmeffers.
Be back
soon with an update on Image Communications.
But in this format, you can just read about this day all at once. Oh well, judge my day by the change in
attitude as it (regresses?) progresses across time. I’m off, but only slightly.
So I am
idle for 2 hours . . . well, less 22 minutes as I spent a few moments with
Shmaren. It’s now fall term, so all of
my Regular School Year pals are emerging from the woodwork. I also saw my non-cross-dressing Drag Queen
bud Shmalex; queer as a football bat but sweet as Tupelo Honey. He just turned 21 and went drinking (of
course) to celebrate. With his Mom. Inertia, I tell you, inertia.
I see
Shmailey across the mess hall, and Shmris . . . I ran into Shmalon . . .
they’re all here. I don’t see Shmonet or
Shmicole, though.
1416
hrs
Finished
with class #2; Image Communications.
Looka like it’ll be OK, just long . . . 3 hours. Lots of Outside-The-Classroom work, however,
and I don’t think I am too keen on losing what free time I may have had . . .
but, such is life and the way we live the way we know . . . Right?
I have
a few minutes between now and the next class, which is Documentary
Photography. Possibly looking forward to
that, but since I don’t know what it entails, I don’t want to commit to an
opinion just yet. Feel me, Patient
Reader? Are you Picking Up what I am Putting
Down? Are you Sniffing Of what I am Squeezing
Out?
Splendid!
So. I shall have a fully formed opinion for you
sometime this evening or tomorrow, depending on if I feel like posting this
before or after my classes tomorrow. I
kind of want to get a feel for the term before I warn y’all off. We’ll see.
You’ll find out one way or another, right?
30
September 2014
0711
hrs
Good
Morning once again, Patient Reader . . .
So
Yesterday’s Classes: I told you about
classes one and two; class #3, Documentary Photography, looks like it’s going
to be a winner as well. This morning I
have Developmental Psych, and this afternoon I have Tai Chi.
Now, I suppose I should get back on the Mormons and
ride them until their legs break! So shall
I continue? Splendid!
I’m not
sure how much has changed since 1990; The famous Lafferty Murders occurred in
1984. Yep, 30 years ago. Let me explain ;
Ron and
Dan were the brothers-in-law of Brenda Lafferty, who married their younger
brother, Allen.
Brenda, 24, and her daughter Erica, 15 months old,
had their throats slit in accordance with the way things were done in (OT
Scripture) scripture. "I held
Brenda's hair and did it pretty much the way they did it in the
scriptures," Dan had said. He also
said he told the baby girl that he didn’t know why god wanted him to do it, but
there must be a reason. He also stated
that he turned his head away as he cut through her throat. Whadda mensch.
I’m skipping a lot of details, for instance why the
brothers felt they had to do it in the first place, among other things. I can tell you the book by Jon Krakauer
entitled, “Under the Banner of
Heaven,” tells the story in great detail.
Heaven,” tells the story in great detail.
Mormons
believe in Blood Atonement- the punishment requires the actual letting of blood
during a(n) (sacrifice?) execution. This
is the reason Utah allows for execution by firing squad. Look up Gary Mark Gilmore, died 1977. He was
the first person executed after the Supreme Court reinstated the death
penalty. Yay us.
The
reason for this particular tangent is in the Temple Ceremony (the ritual of
Mormon Marriage)
wherein adherents vow that they will not reveal the secrets of
this or any other ceremony upon punishment of death. They even make the symbolic gesture of
slitting the throat and disemboweling the offender. Good, clean, Jebus kinda fun, right? Supposedly, the practice had changed in 1990
due to the Lafferty Murders. You know;
god changed his mind.
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The
Reverend Sun Myung Moon, a Korean Evangelical (Presbyterian by trade) was
vilified for marrying thousands of couples in mass weddings. Interestingly, hundreds of couples are
married in the temples around the world every day, but not individually. Hundreds of couples are married at once.
The men
and women are given special Heavenly Names, but only the husband knows the name
of the wife as well as his own. She
doesn’t get to know his. The reason the
husband knows is he has to call her, by name, forth from the grave on
Resurrection Morning. This too is
symbolized in the temple ritual. The
husband steps through a curtain- the Temple Veil, you see- and then reaches
back for his wife’s hand in order to pull her through. It seems that women need their husband's
assistance to enter heaven. Awesome.
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Joseph
Smith, the founder of Mormon, Inc. - I mean the Mormon Church, was a
Mason. Coincidentally, many of the
rituals in the temple are exactly the same as the Mason’s. They even copied the same handshake. Yeah, there’s a secret handshake for Mormons, too.
So, among other things, we covered Blood Atonement,
Baptism for the Dead, Secret Handshakes and Funny Underwear . . . Did you know
that if you behave yourself (and give the church 10% of your income-seriously),
in the afterlife you will be rewarded with your very own planet over which you
can be Lord and Master of All You Survey?
When I am Lord and Master of
All I Survey, things are going to change around here . . .
Get the Picture?
As I stated above, tithing (which is voluntary in
almost all other religions/denominations), is mandatory for a good Mormon. Their contributions are tracked and calculated,
and when the time comes for a Temple Recommend, your shit better be straight. You had better have been paying for heaven.
A Temple Recommend is required for entry into the,
well, Temple. You obtain one of these by
going to your Bishop (sort of the branch pastor) and interviewing with him. He asks questions regarding your sexuality,
whether or not you fornicate, your morality, etc . . .
If he is satisfied with your answers, then you get
passed on to the Stake President- sort of the Pit Boss- he kind of oversees the
“floor” with three or four dealers (Bishops) under him, if I may use a casino
analogy.
The Stake President basically covers the same questions
. . . he doesn’t see you every Sunday like the Bishop, so he takes you at your word
(and the Bishop’s at his!) and you’re almost always rubber-stamped through.
Weird enough for you?
Well, stay tuned for more revelation, brothers and
sisters . . . I have much more to tell you.
But first, I have to do my homework before supper or no football! God, that takes me back . . .
Until then, Patient Reader, I remain,
The Cunning Fennec Fox
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