Yet Another Rant . . . Not For the Faint of Heart! . . . and the Cunning Fennec Fox

8 March 2014

1018 hrs

Well, good day, Patient Reader!

            I am The Cunning Fennec Fox, coming to you live from . . .  The College!  Surprise . . .  whoopee.  I know; it’s amazing that I am spending yet another Saturday here in Academia, but gol-durn it, it’s so close to the end of term and I just have to turn shit in. 

            Sure, I need to learn how to glue pieces of paper onto other pieces of paper in order to learn how to make documentaries . . .  Who knew?  I could have been making docs since kindergarten!  Course, they would have been comprised solely of low-angle shots, but when it came to Miss Anderson and her summer dresses, it may not have been all bad . . .

            Ahh . . .  Miss Anderson . . .

(the above is Sweet Ana . . .  Not Miss Anderson.  Photo by Enki Photography; alterations by Properfessor)  she of the Hippie Generation . . .  of the laurels made of tiny, pretty, white flowers . . .  the yellow summer dresses . . .  the pushing-back of the desks so to have a large space in the middle of the room in which we could hold hands and sway to Bill Withers' Lean On Me . . . 

            Those were the days, weren’t they?  Before the miasma.  Before we realized that we are limited to be only that which we will be.  Jesus . . .  I even wanted to be a cop back then.  But I got smarter.  I didn’t want to go around with a cheesy fucking moustache and bully people around and steal money

and drugs on the sly and just generally be a prick.  If I wanted to get away with murder, though . . .  it’s definitely a good profession.  You can actually shoot someone

in the back of the head, you know, meaning they had their back to you, and not go to prison.  A jury will find you justified!  I mean, the fucker is just cleaning up the streets, right?  If he doesn’t shoot that 15 year-old girl (Sorry Portland, Oregon . . .  you’re in the hot-seat on this one) then jesus . . .  she coulda just growed up to start having those dark welfare babies!  Oh my god!

            OK . . . whew!  I cannot get started on that whole rant . . .  believe me, I have a shit-ton more to say about that.  Weird how what few cops I know have never read the Constitution of these United States

. . .  but that’s a wholly other rant.

            No, today I want to rail against you “Pro-Lifers” out there.  You self-proclaimed everythings.  Christians so very Antichrist-like.  You Holier-Than-Thou delusionals

who think you have the corner on the market of morality.  You who have started wars and crusades and Inquisitions;

killed all the natives in the New World ostensibly because they didn’t convert to christ, when of course y’all just wanted El Dorado in your own blithe, filthy mitts.

            I go by Planned Parenthood the other day, and one of you pieces of turd is out there calling those poor women “Baby Killers” and “Murderers . . .”  you know, doing the christian thing; acting like christians . . . and I realized that, once again, you have shown your ignorance to the world.  In the South we call that showing your ass and in your cases, to truly show your ass, just get naked because you are ass all over.

            These poor women are already traumatized enough.  You know that some of them are in abusive relationships and really don’t want to bring into a household a defenseless creature that hubby is just going to beat or rape or worse.  Yeah, some of those baby killers actually care enough about their children they do their best to not have them.  "And The Woman So Loved The World That She Gave Her Only . . ." blah blah, etc.  

       You wanna look at it that way, god is the murderer of all murderers, and not only bible god . . . don’t you Buddhists and radicals from other faiths think I don’t mean your stupidity, too.  No one gets off Scot-Free (apologies to my Scottish Patient Readers out there, you know I respect my second culture).

            Or these women were raped.  Let me ask you something, great and powerful fundamentalists:  would you want your eleven year-old daughter to give birth to her rapist’s baby?  I didn’t think so, you judgmental fucks.

            Sure, that’s an extreme example, but you start outlawing sterile clinical procedures you may just as well start gutting women with a potato peeler.

            Pro-Lifers seem to think that Pro-Choice is synonymous with Pro-Abortion.  Are you that fucking stupid?  You simpleton asshole?

  You condescending pricks?  I don’t know a single pro-choicer that thinks that abortion is cool.  It is not supposed to be used as a form of birth-control, and any Doc worth his salt will refuse to treat this complicated and potentially traumatic experience as something the patient will want to do every few months or so.  

       So here is where Planned Parenthood’s main function comes into play:  Sex Education and prophylaxis in dealing with the whole pregnancy issue.  Ick, huh christians?

            Remember, it’s all y’all’s aversion to discussing the taboo of sex with your children in the first place that causes mis- or even uneducation regarding birth control, pregnancy and even healthy sexual relationships.  Wouldn’t you rather teach your kids about loving, healthy relationships, if you idiots even think you truly have them or can, than the kids with whom they go to school?  Who were probably raised in the same lunatic fashion y’all are raising your own lunatic kids.

            Remember the HPV vaccine that came out a few years ago?  Remember how you right-wing doofuses railed against it, saying that it’ll make our kids promiscuous, or at least even more so?  Well, the HPV vaccine has been out long enough to do studies regarding its efficacy and its impact on society.  A little thing called Science enables us to do said research.  Hmm . . .  Science.
            Anyway, these studies show that not only has promiscuity in young adults not increased, but many are actually waiting longer regarding sex, as a secondary result of increased awareness and the opening-up of pathways for parents to discuss sex with their children.
            Y’all oughta put down the New Testament every once in a while and read a fucking science book.  Don’t believe in Science?  Think y’all oughta wrastle serpents and wave your hands around calling on the holy spirit to come and enemize satan out of your tight little buttholes?

      

      Great.  All of you who deny science stand over here . . .  you are no longer allowed to use any technology.  Science gave us the refrigerator and the TV and the cell phones and the Lincoln Navigators and the vibrators your wives use while you’re gone to work and they have to by god find some way to get pleasure out of the miserable lives under which you subject them.

            Science gave us the light by which you read your book of fairy tales . . .  our mythology is better than your mythology . . . “Haha . . .  you believe that you can see the universe if you look into Vishnu’s mouth?  That’s Cuh-Razy!  Believe in this here talking snake instead, you primitive heathen!”

            But that’s wholly another rant in and of itself, is it not?

            A xian friend of mine recently told me that Nabiru, a brown dwarf sun, was going to transit our own little yellow sun the next day.  He was sure it was going to happen.  Never mind that you can calculate on the back of an envelope why he is an idiot.  How a body so large in mass could not even get close to our solar system without fucking with the math.  “Huh, that’s weird . . .  Jupiter is not where it’s supposed to be . . .  I wonder if that GIANT BROWN DWARF SUN has anything to do with it . . .”

            So put the barbecue lighter down and go rub two things together, you proto-fucking-hominids.  Science has done more for us in the realization and understanding of our universe in the last 500 years than religion has in the last 10,000.  

            Maybe god just hardened my heart as he did Pharaoh’s (and thusly removed Free Will from the equation) when he refused to let Moses take away his labor force. 

            Put the remote control down and take your daughters to the city walls and stone them for being sassy . . .  “Can’t you KNOCK?  There is a little thing called PRIVACY you know!”

            Put the antibiotics down and say a prayer.  If your loved one dies, it’s only because ye had little faith, or didn’t pray right or hard enough.  Oh, and no crying at the funeral; they’re in a better place, anyway, right?  You’re only crying for yourself.

            Another xian with whom I had a great confab once told me that abortion is murder- his wife had a miscarriage . . .  life begins at conception . . . etc.

            I asked him if they held a funeral . . .  “uh, no . . .” he said, staring at his shoes.  “But we did grieve.””   Well, bully for you you fucking hypocrite.  My wife and I grieved when our cat developed FIP and we had to put him down.  AND we buried him with a small “service.”

            That was a CAT. A TRUE innocent that loved unconditionally.  Life begins at conception?  We treated that animal, born supposedly soulless, better than he treated his child.  How many of you xians just bleed into the toilet and flush your little rug rat into the water recycling plant?

            So next time you picket in front of a PP with your bloody signs trying to guilt a woman who just made the most difficult decision she will ever make, you just remember that that woman would, most likely, never do anything to hurt you like you are hurting her.  Remember that every doctor who performs abortions would love to be out of a job so she could concentrate on education and sniffles and making her corner of the world better and healthier-through the wonders of SCIENCE.

            I like to think that this is NOT a test . . .  that this is it; take this chance to make this world and our little piece of it and the fourth dimension of our time, what time we have, and try to help one another and not to judge.

            I goddam guarantee that Jesus did not go to the Golden Corral

when he and the men AND women were hungry . . .  I goddam guarantee that he did not go to Wal-Mart when his sandals wore through

. . .  he lived on WELFARE!  The kindness of others sharing their meagre possessions with him and his.

            And I goddam guarantee that if he were around today, he would hug the stuffing out of that sore and weeping woman, frail from her burden of pain, and tell her that he loves her.  You ignorant fucks.

            Patient Reader excluded, of course.  CFF’s readers are an enlightened lot.  We agnostics, scientists, atheists, humanists . . . we are more christ-like than the xians at the tit.

Well, now that that’s off my chest, enjoy the new artwork I posted; enjoy chickwithaquill; enjoy feedyourid, enjoy one another; enjoy the todays and let the tomorrows sort themselves out tomorrow.  Shall I, this sociopathic atheist, leave you to it?  Splendid!

Come back soon and see me piss of someone else.  Or maybe the same lot- who knows?

And Always I Remain,

The Cunning Fennec Fox