24 August 2014
1638 hrs
Well Hello, Patient Reader
How’s things out there?
It’s afternoon time here at Happy Acres Apartment Building,
and I just
wanted to fill you in on a couple of things that have been on my mind . .
. Are you ready? Splendid!
First of all, The New York Yankees. 6-4 in their last ten games . . . They’re at
#2 in the American League East, and 12 games up on the Hated Red Sox (sorry all
you CFFers out there who are also Boston fans- you know I mean no disrespect .
. . but the rest of you Sox fans can suck it!).
It’s getting near twilight for the season and The Boys of Summer are
about to play yet another World Series . . . I’d sure love to see the Bronx
Bombers get their 28th W.S. win. How
great would that be, fellow Yankee fans?
Next: What the
fuck, Dallas Cowboys?
I mean,
jebus-fugging-chryse. I know it’s
pre-season and all, but do we really have to lose every game in the last two
minutes of play? I mean, c’mon . . .
Nothing good has come of you fucks since Aikman, E. Smith, and Irvin were holding
their own against the legendary Staubach, Dorsett, and D. Pearson . . .
Talk about football!
So get your fucking shit together and fire Romo. I mean what- we have won ONE playoff game
since he took over as QB? In how many
years? He made it to the playoffs three
times, which means . . . I dunno WTF it means, but he’s been with Dallas for 11
years, signing as an undrafted agent in 2003 . . . WTF, Jerry? Are you channeling Al Davis?
Are you high as a Japanese kite?
What, exactly, is your mental disease or
defect? Let’s get the show on the
fucking road, dude.
OK, sure . . . Romo has broken some records . . . Here’s what the Official Dallas Cowboys
Website has to say:
". . . With a 47-30 regular season
record as the Dallas starter, Romo led the Cowboys to 13 wins in 2007 - tying
the franchise record for victories in a season in his first season as the
full-time starter. Along the way, he set single-season club marks for touchdown
passes (36), completions (335), yardage (4,211) and 300-yard games (seven). He
first set a Dallas mark for consecutive games with a touchdown pass with 17
straight between 2006 and 2007 only to up it to 20 (2009-11). His 2008 season
was not as productive as 2007 after suffering a broken finger in his throwing
hand at Arizona (10/12). Despite missing three games with the injury, Romo
still threw for 300-or-more yards six times - second only to his seven from
2007 - while throwing for 3,448 yards - his second consecutive 3,000-plus yard
season - to become the first quarterback with back-to-back 3,000-yard seasons
since Troy Aikman (1995-97) . . ."
Your Daily Cowboy’s Football
Fix says this about Romo:
" . . . Tony Romo Franchise Records.
Most touchdown passes by a
Dallas QB
Most touchdown passes in a
season by a Dallas QB
Most touchdown passes in a game
by a Dallas QB
Most yards in a season by a
Dallas QB
Most yards in a game by a
Dallas QB
Most yards in first 100 starts
by a Dallas QB
Highest completion percentage
by a Dallas QB
Lowest interception percentage
by a Dallas QB
Highest career passer rating by
a Dallas QB
Most 4th quarter comebacks by a
Dallas QB
Highest 4th quarter passer
rating by a Dallas QB
Most 300 yard games in a season
by a Dallas QB
Most 400 yard games in a season
by a Dallas QB
The only 500+ yard game by a
Dallas QB . . ."
But what has he done in the NFL? Tony Romo now holds the records for most
completions in 100 starts (2,276) and yards, (27,747).
OK . . . I'm not saying that playing in the NFL is easy. Nor is it easy playing for a team that is deemed written-off if they don't make it to the Super Bowl! It's true and you know it, Sports Fans . . . The Cowboys are legendary, and haters love to hate them. I call them America's Team" only to piss you off. Suck it. It's my blog.
But 11 years? I mean, how many more years do you have left, Tony? How many years will your ribs take? Your back? Really?
I get it. You are a Rock Star. You get all the chicks,
or you did before you got married (Brady got Giselle,
She is a reader, too!
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but that's a whole 'nother story, ain't it?).
All I am saying is, let’s get Jimmy Johnson back. He knew how to pick a team, and just as
importantly, how to pick a staff. No
offense to you Jason Garrett- you can only do as well as that with which you
are given to work. How ‘bout dem Cowboys?
Yeah, had to use it twice . . .
Alabama, Roll Tide, Roll, is picked to do well again this
year, and I really don’t have any complaints when it comes to the Crimson
Tide. I am a life-long fan and they can
do no wrong . . . now if only some of
the fans would get their shit together . . .
I wish all the best to the baseball team, but my true
love lies in Alabama Women’s Softball.
Ahhhhhh . . . y’all are the best.
Most of the Ladies are back, but most importantly, Danae Hays returns as
a junior. Go, ‘Bama! Fucking Rockstars.
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As far as world events goes, I’ll have to write about
those downers next time. You’ll get my
rant on James Foley’s decapitation, IS’ seizing of that Syrian airbase, the
jesus h. christ what the fuck are we going to do about Ebola sitch over there
in Liberia and the rest of West Africa, earthquakes, Attenborough, Iran’s
shooting-down of an Israeli drone . . . do they get their drones stamped “Made
in the U.S.A.?” I’ll have that answer
for you next time, unless you’d care to look it up on your own. Email me the answer, if you don’t mind,
Patient Reader.
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Well, I reckon I’ll leave y’all
to it. Plenty of stuff for me to get to
before my day is done. Check out the new
photos above, and oh yeah, that reminds me: Stefan is in the process of fixing up feed
your id
So just be patient. He assures me y’all will dig it just fine.
So until we all meet again, I
shall remain your sincere
Cunning Fennec Fox
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