THE CUNNING FENNEC FOX: Sobriety, 'Bama, Mormons, Mormonism, Polygamy/Sister Wives, Baptizing the Dead, Kolob, Garments, and the Jack-Mormon Cunning Fennec Fox

20 September 2014

1330 hrs

Inside-the-Lines-Message to Vesper: Thanks for the comment on the post last . . . yes, my verbiage leans toward the extreme, but I think you know why . . . anyway, thanks for the positive feedback . . . good to know I continue to reach the intellectuals.

For more on Vesper, Dear and Patient Reader, see the link below:

Chick With A Quill

Well, Patient Reader!

I’m sitting here watching Alabama lose game four of the college football season. OK, they’re driving, and the score is tied, but when the best team in college sports ever in the history of the world is tied in the third quarter . . . well, that means they’re losing. So Fuck.

Send my Crimson Tide some posivibes, please . . .

Stranger and Stranger

Check them out: Geniuses.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The 17^th of the month was another anniversary; another significant day of reckoning. 17 years ago I took my last drink of alcohol. Seventeen long, unbearable, torturous years. Haha. OK, it was not that bad, but I did feel it for a little while. I was sweating alcohol and I did have the DTs for a few days. Gotta admit- that sucked hard . . .

But the worst is long-gone air through the engine, and I am pretty proud of the fact that I gave up such a habit.

Scotch whisky. Yes. That was my beverage of choice. Glenmorangie, Glenfiddich, Glenlivet . . . anything but Glenn Beck . . . Those were my single-malts of choice. Dewar's was my blend of choice. Not so many choices of choice.

I was drinking about a quart of scotch a day, and at those Single Malt prices, I was spending a fortune. I don’t want you to misunderstand, Patient Reader . . . I was a fun drunk; fun to be around, fun to hang out with. You know. That guy.

But you can't be married to that guy, at least, not for long, and expect things to work out. That guy is the guy you sometimes fall in love with, as she did, but Jesus, it's gotta have at least ONE sober moment, right? You may marry That Guy, but you certainly don’t stay married to That guy for long. Four years, as it turns out, was her limit.

I was sober for the second 2 years, but I was no longer self-medicating. This meant my mood was highly . . . unstable . . . My bipolar was out of control, and instead of being a perpetually fun drunk, I became the Jekyll and Hyde, the Banner and Hulk, of my corner of the world. It wasn’t until I was correctly dx’d bipolar (instead of depressed) that I was placed on mood stabilizers and felt much better. Like the Dead Girl in The Sixth Sense, I feel much better, now . . .

Side note non sequitur: The Crimson Cabaret looks pretty tasty today . . .

But that correct dx was not made until 8 years after the divorce. But All Things, as they say, Work Out. Had it not been for the series of Life Lessons that befell me at that point in my life, then I would not be with Shmarla today. Glad I have her, Patient Reader . . .

But this is all review to you, is it not, Patient Reader? So we shall move on . . .

So I have d/l’d iOS8 to my phone . . . not sure if I like it yet . . . it has a new auto-correct that seems to be interfering more than facilitating, and I can’t access my contacts when I use an after-market, non-native texting program. Ain’t that some bullshit? Plus, I needed to delete some files to allow enough space for the new software, though Apple says I get some of it back once it’s installed. I heard someone in the ether made the joke that Apple gave us the new U2 album, then made us delete it to allow for the room. That’s good stuff.

Alabama won; Roll Tide, Roll!

23 September 2014

1131 hrs

Ok. So here's the Rant of the Day: Mormons.

Yep. It's time to level the arms against you crazy fucks once again.

You see, too many people have the wrong idea. So many folks out there seem to think y'all are some sort of benevolent, albeit . . . Quirky little gathering of sweet elderly people

or naïve young couples who think that sex is the most horrible thing ever and you should save it for the one you love.

That your ambassadors consist solely of sweet-faced and chaste, bicycle-riding, tie-adorned young men. And women, now. But they have so little of the story, nein?

Ah. But I know better, don't I? Yeah . . . I'm the guy that's looked behind the curtain, aren't I?

I'm the guy that knows your crazy fucking secrets- including the pre-1990 Death Oath . . .

I’ll be getting into that more later on. First things first:

You really ought to do something about the whole polygamy thing. I mean, no gentile out there seems to be able to differentiate between LDS and FLDS. I mean, more people know about Warren Jeffs than they do Thomas S. Monson. Who?

So all these cats outside the holiest of holies all think you guys still think it's ok to have multiwives, even though that's only the case in the Celestial Kingdom. Haha. Silly Gentiles.

Note the strong, 1st-Century Palestinian-Jew features of Mormon Jesus . . .

or is that Dan Fogelberg?

There are some out there who know better, though they mistakenly think it's because god changed his mind and said there'll be no more of THAT! Little do they know that the sudden changing of heavenly father’s way of thinking came at the same time the Federal Government finally Ok’d Utah’s statehood. They don’t know that polygamy is the reason Utah was denied statehood the other times it had applied.

Their first application for statehood was in 1849

Utah Statehood Chronology

I can see where they get that because that's the Party Line.

They also think that Mormons are taught to stockpile weapons and hoard food, when that is only half right. And I know that y’all hoard food as a common-sense measure; how it’s one year for every member in the household which, to my mind at least, has a strong core of sanity. But to those that don’t understand that, well, y’all are just another Branch Davidians.

I mentioned the Planet/Star Kolob

and the Garments

to acquaintances of mine, and they thought that I had made those up.

They didn’t know that you baptized the dead into your church. Yes, Patient Reader . . . even holocaust victims who were murdered because they were Jews are now christians of the Mormon denomination. What of that? And the Nazis who murdered them were baptised, too . . . the dead ones, anyway. How's that for adding insult to injury? The Mormons issued an apology when this got out, but continue to do so. The holocaust survivors and their descendants are on the list, too. All they have to is die. This is the main reason Momodiodoes keep such comprehensive geneological records.

Baptism of the Dead

OK, look . . . I shot most of my wad for this post on the topic of my sobriety anniversary, so I’ll leave it for now and let you ruminate over what I wrote these last few paragraphs . . . sound reasonable? Splendid! This way, anyone with comments, good or bad, can send them to me.

Go to the official LDS Church website

lds.org

and see for yourselves, and I’ll be back soon to fill in the details and, uh, add some more to the places that they keep hidden in the dark. Bring your candles . . . it gets a little murky in there. Remember the White Salamander!